Making sense

Anne Lamott, on writing ...

"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason why they write so little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out.”

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Of allergies and housework and end of school grading

Today I'm in a pissy mood. The house is a disaster: dog and cat hair everyfreakinwhere. Kitchen sinks needs a good Ajax scrubbing but somehow the new scrubber I bought a month ago has disappeared. No kitchen towels in the drawers. A half sheet of paper towel glued to the holder.
Someone washed the metal cake pan but neglected to dry it: It's rusted, really rusted. A thick orange edge surrounds all four corners. I'd rather throw the pan out than subject Self or family to some sort of rust poison that I haven't discovered yet on WebMD.
Dust on every surface. My allergies are screaming GET ME OUT OF THIS ENVIRONMENT.
I get out of this environment only to escape to the front porch, where the green things grow; allergies send me back inside. Yesterday, I'd escaped to Border's to grade but my ADD kicked in and I was annoying even myself. Allergies were at bay but OCD cut loose.
"Grade three papers and then you can look at a magazine," I told myself. "Just three. C'mon, you can do it!"
Couldn't do three because I hadn't lined my coffee cup exactly ... where .... it .... should.... be.
Must grade two, or four, an even number. Yes. Then the magazine, something decorating related.
After four hours at the bookstore, I'd graded approximately thirteen essays and looked through a dozen magazines. Drunk two honey-cinnamon lattes. Eaten a bagel.
It's that time of the year when LifeFunk takes over. I'm in that end-of-year teaching zone: Summer's coming but it's not quite here.
"Give everyone an A," my husband says, satisfied with himself. "That's what I'd do."

1 comment:

Bee said...

I used to retreat to the bookstore for grading, too! AND I used to reward myself in just the same way.