Prioritizing to a count of four

Within the last three days, I have learned that two women (around) my age have died suddenly: one from the flu, the other from a heart attack.
Of course I am freaked out. The hypochondriac in me immediately goes on high alert: What were they doing that I might be doing? What did they have that I might have? Too much Starbucks? Too much exposure to children? Job loss? Too much waistline? That weird vertical earlobe crease?
And then the realist in me kicks in and I do some 4-4-4 breathing, which a counselor taught me to do years ago: Inhale to a count of four; hold the breath for a four-count; exhale to the count of four.
I cannot even fathom making out my New Year's Resolution List for 2015, including such usual resolves: eat more vegetables, drink more water, sleep eight hours and then WHAM!! being hit with sudden death/unplanned death. No one writes: Don't die in 2015.
Oh. My. God.
Oh. My. God.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
***
Life. Wow. Full of surprises and heartache and good chocolate and food poisoning and ten thousand great things and another ten thousand shitty things.
Makes a person rethink her existence, and the planning that goes into living. Am I really in charge?
***
I am in charge of prioritizing my life's joys and stressors, that I know. I can choose to wake up feeling happy; I can choose to watch a cartoon instead of the CBS Evening News; I can choose the broccoli over the banana pudding; I can choose to believe that good things happen to good people.
Until they don't.
I can choose to google the shit out of Why a 50-year-old-woman dies from a heart attack?, or I can choose to sit in my comfy reading chair with a cup of hot tea and an excellent book. Which action will cause me the least amount of stress?
Which future job will cause the least amount of stress? Would I be happier ringing up people's groceries or returning to the classroom? Becoming a nanny again or getting my real estate license?
For now, right now, I am choosing my reading chair and a new book. Also, four calm breaths.