Making sense

Anne Lamott, on writing ...

"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason why they write so little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out.”

Friday, May 25, 2012

Stupid allergies

Horrible night's sleep. One of those slumbers where you wake up every hour because one nostril is running and the other is stuffy, where your throat is dried out from open-mouth breathing (hence the dream of drinking sand), where your lips are encrusted with all that white icky goo (whatever that is).
Zero energy. Head clogged. Even my morning coffee doesn't taste good. Did not eat breakfast within twenty minutes of awakening because I didn't feel well. Sudafed taken at 6 a.m. finally kicked in, though. I can breathe with a closed mouth. Would walk but there's humidity outside and that floating cottony junk that sends me into a sneezing seizure.

Morning start (9 am): One cup strong black coffee (no cream; no sugar)

Breakfast (10:45 am): Egg on English muffin; 4 oz. pure juice smoothie* (organic blueberries, spinach, strawberries, raspberries, orange juice, and Kefir)

*I did not make this drink. I have a friend who's starting up a juice bar, and she'd delivered this drink to me a few weeks ago, along with other yummy concoctions. This one I'd frozen ... . Delicious the next day, having thawed overnight in the fridge. If you live in the Northland and would love fresh juice or smoothies delivered to your home in reusable glass containers, let me know and I'll give you my friend's contact information. All her ingredients are locally grown and organic.

Snack (1:30 pm): Apple with tablespoon of peanut butter; black coffee (iced)

Lunch (2:07 pm): I am hungry!!! Weight Watchers Smart One  ~ macaroni and cheese entree

Snack (4:07 pm): Visalus Shake made with skim milk and one cup mixed berries.Absolutely delicious. The berries were frozen, and once I added five-six ice cubes, the concoction needed a spoon. Yum!

Dinner (6:45 pm): Feeling hungry again. Wow. Haven't felt this much hunger in a long time.
Chicken breast/green beans (this time I added 1/4 cup sharp cheddar and 1/2 cup sour cream)

Snack (7:15 pm): Still hungry. Ate 1/2 cup applesauce

Snack (9:15 pm): Old habits take center stage. While watching "Dateline," I made a bowl of cereal.
Ate the cereal with skim milk and then ~ and then ~ went and got the rest out of the box and ate it out of my hand, my cocker spaniel begging for bites, which I gave her (she's fat too).

Binge (10 pm - 10:40 pm): Shit! Daughter's making kolaches and they're hot from the oven. Buttery
deliciousness. Yeasty aroma. Cannot resist. I eat three of these. This is why I am fat. I was not hungry when I ate the kolaches.

Reflection: My day had gone on plan until I got really tired. Instead of just going to bed, I turned on the TV and there was that damned "Dateline" that always sucks me in. While I'm watching a classic who-killed-the-beautiful-leggy-blonde? I'm consuming about 1,000 calories. Also, I did not exercise today. Felt crummy from allergies (or a head cold); humidity too high. I did, however, finally get the vacation to Mexico pictures scrapbooked. Felt good to see that through to completion. I did not overeat or eat mindlessly when I was working on that project.

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